Blue and existential crisis

 I am not okay. I am so confused and leaning a lot towards pessimism. Sometimes it is so easy to belittle and abandon me. 

Do I need a makeover, to learn to draw a boundary? 

What is confusing is that I still don't know where this level of impatience is coming from. My team from Indore called, to this day, they still remember me. I might not be that bad, right?

Maybe I feel discontented and don't feel challenged. Then again, I am expecting, it's time to slow down.  I would like to be stronger and have my own space, own car and property. I am accomplished enough for that. If not I should have been. 

There are so much of complaints, within me. I always have a feeling that I can't help but keep letting myself or others down. I should have been better. 

I think I am failing myself too. I would really like to work independently and have my opinions respected. 

So a low day perhaps. 

blue is the colour for today, I suppose. 

Then again, why do I have to be useful? why I do have to prove something to exist?

Does it have to be so hard? 

Maybe I need to be in touch with my spiritual side. I feel so confused and vulnerable. 

Goddess, show me a way. 

Love, 

See you again